Pavlov

A while ago, what seems like a life time ago, you were in DramaFree with she-who-shall-not-be-named. The room pop was talking about some topic or other. She-who-shall-not-be-named made a statement of some kind. You commented “DING“. Back then, I didn’t know you at all. I had spoken with she-who-shall-not-be-named a few times. I considered her a friend. I was angry for her. I wanted to be unreasonably disrespectful to you. I wanted to say “How dare you treat her like a dog!” After a few moments of reflection and a stern talking to myself about “Their kink may not be my kink but that doesn’t make it wrong”, I said in open chat “She-who-shall-not-be-named, do you find that degrading?“. You said “Oh my.” and I really thought I had put my foot in my mouth. I truly meant no offense. I was seeking information on the psychology of something I didn’t fully understand. I explained these points in open chat. I don’t recall the conversation that followed.

I bring this up because, this thing that I found extremely offensive, I’m conflicted to say, I now look forward to. It ranks up there with “good girl”. In fact, it may edge out “good girl” slightly, because your pattern has been “good girl” for actions and “DINGfor thoughts/opinions/knowledge. I realized, last night, that I had had an opinion shift when I heard your bell and thought”Rock on, Sister! You’re finally getting it!” this was immediately followed by an extremely annoyed internal “Holy crap! What the f*ck just happened?!”

I’m still ambivalent about my change in attitude. I am working through it. I rationally understand that behavioral conditioning is a not-insignificant part of WIITWD. This does not change the fact that there is now no denying that I have been effectively conditioned, over a relatively short period of time, as if I were no better than a dog. I know you do not mean it this way. I understand this is my issue. I expect my discomfort has to do with my understanding of Pavlov’s experiment and the fact that his conditioner of choice was a bell. I’m currently arguing with myself that I am not at all ambivalent about “good girl” and therefore I should not take issue with “DING”. They are both conditioning tools. The fact that one has been used in a landmark experiment that happened to deal with dogs should not matter to me. It shouldn’t but it does. I’m working on it.

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