I’m exhausted. I’m sure you are too. We spent so much time talking today. You took me on the DomCoaster. I love the ride. You know it’s my favorite. There is no denying it takes its toll.
My head is crowded with everything we talked about. The one thing that pokes its head up above everything else is the realization I had about how much power you have. I have a bond with you unlike any other in my life. I don’t know what to call it. It is not as uncomplicated as love. I have had love with others. I have it now with DH. The word love is inadequate to describe what we have.
Though we in the lifestyle are obsessed with labels I will not name this thing. I call it power. I’m comfortable with that. It doesn’t quite fit but it’s close enough. Our bond is inexplicable. There is no reason two people should be this close after knowing each other for such a relatively brief time, regardless of how many hours we spend in communication. I know, without question, that I want to spend the rest of my life pleasing you.
In roughly a week, assuming you do not find me lacking when I officially submit, I will wear your collar. I need its weight at my throat. I need to be claimed. I need you to own me. I already know how disturbing it will be to remove it when we finish for the day. I know it will feel like I’m denying your ownership.
I will console myself with your ring and your bracelets. I will listen to my spirit whisper that your collar is still with me as I return home. I will carry you in my heart knowing you have the power to destroy me. I will be unsettled anew with this knowledge and I will smile because, though you can destroy me, I know you never will.