I could not let my 100th post be a snapshot so for this week, and this week only, you get a Sunday Read to go with the Sunday Snapshot. Enjoy … well sort of … it’s not very happy … but still …
What is it about poly? Why does being poly brand me a slut/cheater and suddenly not worth some people’s time?
Human-beings have the capacity to love more than one person. Fact. I love both my husband and my Master. Also a fact. The same and different.
Even ‘nillas love multiple people. Spouses, friends, significant others, siblings, parents, children. I hear the nay-sayers screaming but I only want to be intimate with my significant other! Yes, and that works for you. That’s not my point. My point is that loving both one’s friend and one’s significant other does not diminish an individual’s capacity to love still more people. Nor does it mean the friend/significant other will be loved less if another is added to that circle of love.
There is also this assumption that if I identify as poly then I must be having sex with all of the people I love. I can love someone without having sex with them. We poly folk also do not necessarily have sex with all of the members of our poly group. My Master and his mate are not intimate with my husband. I am not intimate with my Master’s mate.
All of the parties in our group are aware of the others. My husband has met my Master. I have met my Master’s mate. My Master and I are not cheating on our primaries. I am not “stealing” my Master from His mate. My Master is not “taking me” from my husband.
Knowing all of this why has my identifying as poly cost me people in my life? Why does my choice to be poly – to be happy – make me persona non grata? I am the same person that I was before my Master and I chose each other. I am the same person that I was before I chose to love more than one person. I am the same person that I was before I chose to hold another in my heart. I fail to understand how this one aspect of my life makes me no longer worth knowing.