I was having difficulty letting go of the statement you made regarding my reaction to being flogged. I’ve been mulling it over most of the afternoon.
I was considering if there is a masochist within. I’m certain there is not. I do not, however, discount my biological reaction to being flogged by you. I stand by my assertion that my reaction has nothing whatsoever to do with the sensation of pain.
While contemplating exactly what it is (rather than what it is not) I was mentally running through possibilities. After considering and rejecting several, I was not at all sure that I would be able to uncover an answer. Then I thought It pleases Him and I don’t need to worry about doing it wrong. That thought was enough to invoke the same physical response as the flogging. I genuinely believe that is what is so arousing for me.
The magical combination of pleasing you and expending no energy on right or wrong; just being there for you. Just being, period. Being myself in my purest form, existing in those moments solely for your pleasure. I do expect that being nearly immobile (Yes, please and twice on Sundays.) due to the suspension didn’t hurt either but I don’t believe that was the root of it. You have the control group to prove that particular theory – was I any less aroused by the session with the timer when I was not bound? I can’t answer that for myself. I don’t have a memory of arousal in either scenario.
I may continue to kick this particular concept around in my brain for a bit. I will haunt the halls looking for that masochist. I would love to see if she’s up there hiding someplace. I’m pretty sure that particular search will come up empty. That’s ok. I don’t need her to make you happy and that is the goal.