I’m so glad we were gifted with time today. I missed You this week and somehow today made up for it. You were at your roller coaster best. I’ve missed that too. Thank you for spending the day with me.

Thank you for describing The Trial step by step. I hadn’t even considered the flogging. I appreciate the forewarning. I am so much more nervous and determined than before we talked about it. I am surprised that fear does not effect my desire to endure this. I do not fully understand the strength of this need.

I apologize for being unfair to You by projecting my past issues onto You. I hope I can work through this with You. It will take time. You are right, of course. You are unlike any man I have ever known. You are different. You are you. I should not ask You to carry the baggage I have accrued with others. You are my Heart, my One, my soul mate. If there is anyone on the face of this earth that I trust to help me with this, it is You. I have only to let You.

Speaking of baggage –  The duffel You placed on the table for me today? You can take it off. I will do that for You. I have thought it through. Yes, it’s horribly scary. I may become panicky but I will not die. Logically, I know that. I believe I can breathe through it as I have every other scary thing You have pushed me through. You will not allow me to come to harm. I will not deny You. I would gift this to You if You will allow it.


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