Violent imagery

I was desperate for sleep last night. I have slept very little over the past three or four days. It has made me cranky and short tempered. I took a benadryl. I wish I hadn’t.

I’ve told you that in the past I have had recurrent nightmares about being murdered. The assailant, previously, has always had a meat cleaver or large carving knife. Last night, there wasn’t just one perpetrator, there were two. One of them had removed the blade from a band saw and the other had a large hunting knife.

The one with the band saw blade had wrapped the blade around my upper thighs and was attempting to amputate both of my legs simultaneously. The one with the knife had sliced my right arm open from pit to wrist with an aim toward watching me bleed. I somehow managed to get away and hide in the woods but they chased me all night. I would wake and shake it off only to go back to sleep and have them after me again.

I’m none to anxious to go to sleep tonight. I plan on laying awake and thinking of you. I love you. I ache with missing you.

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2 thoughts on “Violent imagery

  1. I use to have these dreams when I was pregnant. I don’t know why. They seem like they are tied to intense anxiety but I don’t know for sure.
    I am sorry for your nightmares and I hope you can get sleep soon. I know how difficult sleep can be when you have nightmares all the time. I still have nightmares from time to time because of past traumas. Try to get some rest at least if not sleep
    Starshine

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