On being seen

You said today that I will kneel at Your feet and serve You. In public. It would not have been possible for my grin to have been any larger. I’m sure the heat rising from my blush added at least a couple of degrees to global warming.

Then You said a thing. A thing that drove the air from my lungs and radiated warmth from the deepest part of my core to the tips of my extremities – People see Us. They see Rick and K and who they are together. They see the Master and His slave.

This thought, this idea that people, people who know my name, people who have spoken with me face-to-face, actual in-real-life-people, see Us and as a result SEE me. They see this person whom I have held in seclusion all these years. They see who I am. Not the efficient, take charge, soccer mom but me. The genuine me. The me that the soccer mom shoves into the closet for the sake of propriety. The me who is whole because of You.

When I had this realization, I was saturated simultaneously with joy and vulnerability. There is something about being recognized as Your slave that makes it more real. Others bearing witness to who We are changes it somehow, adding another dimension, enriching Us.

I know we will be (have been) judged. I know I have placed myself in the minority of this lifestyle by finally acknowledging who I am – who We are. I hope people will see beyond the label. I hope they will see the adoration in my eyes when I look at You. I hope they will see the strength of Our love and commitment. I hope they will see that serving You, in any form, is my greatest joy. I hope they will understand why calling myself submissive does not begin to scratch the surface. I hope they will recognize that slave is not just what I call myself but who I am. I hope but I do not expect. With You beside me, I will stand strong, naked in the vulnerability of who I am, proud to be owned by You.

Today I am grateful for: Telecommunication
Today’s funny moment: “Mom, my throat is sore and … I feel funny. My nose can’t breathe … but I’m not getting sick, Mom. I’m not. I’m not getting sick.”


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