You are here with me. Because of the progression of Our relationship these past couple of weeks, I now feel that You have been here. That You are here. Here in my home. Beside me no matter what I’m doing. In my bed. Doing the dishes. Separating laundry. My M/s world has crossed over into my vanilla life. My world has become Mastercentric.
I had a lovely time this afternoon learning new things about myself. Things I didn’t know were possible. And now this new command. I am waiting for You to call. I had significant discomfort at 18:00. By 20:00 I was really hurting. I still am. Now throbbing has joined the pain. I need this thing gone. If You had not told me repeatedly of the consequences it would be gone already.
I am beginning to feel ill. My stomach is extremely unhappy. A very long time ago You told me that my personal safety supersedes any command. That if something hurts stop it regardless of what you have said. I somehow doubt that applies here. I won’t have You thinking that I quit/gave up/disobeyed You. And so I wait.
I also now understand the need for a keeper. (I honestly didn’t before.) Even having gone up a size before we parted, I’m still having difficulty. I had to put on VERY tight pants to serve the function of a keeper. My body wants it gone almost as much as I do it seems …I am waiting. I will continue to wait.
Today I am grateful for: Four?!?!?!
Today’s funny moment: “Spread your legs, Penny. Welcome them in.”
Training: Five hours and counting …