Loop Tapes

I find that I have memories of Us that repeat often in my mind like an endless loop.

  • I hear you saying that I’m pretty. You have started saying this recently and often. You are the only person to have ever said that to me. When You say it I hear the emotion in Your voice. I know that You believe the words. I shake my head and think to myself I am not. I hope You’ll keep saying it. I hope one day I’ll believe it.
  • The first Tuesday night We had together. I was bound in the sleep sack, face down. You flogged me what felt like endlessly. You said “god DAMN!” on the edge of control so many times that it became a litany. I remember Your hands on my ass and how You could not stop touching me. You have made me feel desirable often. This was easily the most memorable.
  • I was stripping, getting ready to shower at the end of one of Our days together. You looked at me, an inscrutable look on Your face and said “You’re going to get naked in front of me?” At the time, I thought I’ve been naked in Your presence multiple times. Why wouldn’t I? I thought I was breaking some rule or protocol. It took me far too long to realize that You wanted to take me and that having me there, nude, was a bit much for You. I have such a difficult time remembering that You see my body so very differently than I do.
  • Watching a movie with You, my feet in shackles, Your hand holding the bar between my ankles in intimate possession.
  • Seeing You wipe my juices off of Your hands more than once when encasing me in duct tape. My being embarrassed and amused at my level of arousal.
  • The day I arrived and had not even removed my coat before You threw me on the bed – Your hand in my hair, Your tongue in my mouth.
  • Your hand at my belt buckle. My shock at realizing you intended to spank my bare bottom in a parking lot next to a very busy intersection. My greater shock at realizing how much I wanted You to.
  • Kneeling between Your knees, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, waiting for You to place Your collar on my neck before the Play Party. Having it feel so right that I couldn’t believe We’d done it any other way.

Today I am grateful for: You
Today’s funny moment: People and fish piss
Training: -on hold-


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