Last night I watched a scene between a Dom and sub. She was bound by the wrists against the chain spider web. The Dom was using various impact toys on her. She was engaging in what can only be described as goading. The sub did everything but stick out her tongue at him. More than once she gave the Dom a look that boldly stated “Is that all you’ve got?” A half an hour or so into their scene she looked at him and said “I’ve still got sass. You’re gonna have to beat it out of me.” All of this while she complained rather loudly that he was being mean and that he should be using “thuddy” because he should know she hates “stingy”.
I was flummoxed as she continued to goad him verbally and physically. To be fair they were both having a good time. They were both laughing and it all seemed in good fun. I had to walk away.
I caught up with them later as the evening was winding down. Several of us were chatting about nothing and everything. The sub looked at me and said “I saw your face when I pushed forward at him.”, meaning her Dom. During the scene I had been watching, the sub flung her body forward into one of the blows that the Dom had been winding up for. She was restrained by the wrists and was drawn up short, leaning forward into him, roughly six inches from his face.
This led to a discussion that was more of a sub circle really while the boys looked on. The girls talked about pain and whether we enjoyed it and to what extent. I shared my feelings and that I do what I do for You as a service because You deserve it. This earned a “whoa” from a gentleman whose name I do not know, followed by a quiet “wow”. None of this is what I’m writing about, however. This is just the lead in.
We eventually came back around to the sub’s taunting of her Dom. I shared that I could not imagine being that way with You. That You and I laugh much but never during impact play. Another sub said that I look like I’m concentrating very hard when You and I play and that I take some “serious stuff”. I agreed and said that it’s hard work and that You are worth it.
I stated that I could not imagine laughing at those times. That I could not imagine what Your reaction would be if I did. The taunting sub took this to mean I thought that her behavior was “wrong”. I was careful to correct that assumption. I told her there is no right or wrong way. There is what works in each dynamic.
Mentally, I was stuck on this idea of laughing with You during impact play and how that would work, if it were even possible. Would this be something you would welcome? Would I feel that it lessens this part of my service to You? Would You feel I wasn’t taking You seriously? Would You take it as a challenge to wipe the smile off my face?
I don’t really know. I can’t imagine it. This is one of the things I love about watching public play. It opens my thoughts to things never considered. Whether they are things I want to do myself or just things I want to think about makes no difference. I enjoy the holding the dynamics of others beside Ours. Comparing and contrasting. Thinking.
Today I am grateful for: stability
Today’s funny moment: ChinaTown
Training: Fifteen minutes