For want of a thing

I read this today:

It gives voice to one of the main reasons that I remain silent about “things” I want. You said to me once that if there is something I want, to simply tell You. That it did not mean You would acquire it, necessarily, but to share with You anyway.

Emotional needs I can talk about. Items – things that must be purchased, I have a significant challenge with. You do so much for me already. I often feel selfish. I am torn between knowing that shopping for me brings You happiness, and the monetary aspect. Telling You about an object I’m lusting for feels wrong somehow. Greedy, selfish, as if I’m asking for more when You already give me more than I deserve.

Today I am grateful for: time
Today’s funny moment: The Whartenburg Pinwheel
Training: there was a bunch in there
Water: 16oz
Corset: am 26.25″, pm not corseted


4 thoughts on “For want of a thing

  1. Cannot open the link,,,,anyway, just dropped by to say hi….and as for lusting for things, welll, we all do that. I think we subs want ourselves to be seen as things sometimes….well I do.

  2. For those who cannot open the link I have pasted the article below. I wish to be very clear: This is NOT my writing. It is simply something I read that kicked off this post.

    You don’t stop wanting things overnight because you are a slave, it just means that sometimes you simply can’t have what you want, or you communicate with your Master appropriately.

    Slavery does require creative thinking, we don’t have bargaining power that other relationships have, so we can’t promise to do that sexy thing that he loves to get what we want, because he can have us do it anyway. That means no bad attitudes, or arguments or creating ‘atmospheres’ it is being honest, and sometimes upfront about what we want.

    I struggled with this one for years, I felt guilty for having wants, sometimes out shopping with Master I would see something that I wanted, but felt that as a slave I should not have wants. The problem with that is it denies the opportunity for him to give. Now giving is something I love doing, and giving is something Master likes doing so he would sometimes stop me and say,
    ‘do you like that?’ and I would nod.
    ‘well, what do you say then?’ i realised that I had to ask, and I found it surprisingly difficult. I think I was so bound up with giving that I never stopped to consider how important receiving can be.

    I told my Master how much I love getting flowers, once, not every day, or every week, I just told him once. That means I am not saying he has to buy me flowers, nor does it suggest that as a slave I should deny I enjoy getting them, but by being honest and straightforward (men don’t get hints) it means that he knows what makes me happy. Making people happy makes the giver and the receiver feel good, be that bruises on your bottom or a spiky leather collar.

    When he gives me flowers, it is because he wants to, it doesn’t mean he is weak, what he wants from me at that moment, is to receive graciously. When he asks me to write a Christmas List, it is because he wants to give me things that I like, hard as it might be.

    But I am not just talking about material wants here, we have our cycles as women and there are times when I feel low in spirits or tired and it is at those times that it is important to communicate how I feel and what I want to feel better. While protocols dictate that I have all the housework done, needing rest and reassurance at this sensitive time, is just as important as food. He doesn’t want a martyr, soldering on silently until resentment kicks in, as the protocol becomes a heavier burden and the chores becomes the source of misery. The martyr often is a voice in my head scolding me that ‘others’ don’t struggle or such, while my body is bone weary needing rest.

    It is at those times when I catch myself realising he doesn’t know how I am feeling unless I tell him, I need to take responsibility for my feelings and emotions and communicate them. If I don’t resentment easily sets in, quickly followed by anger, it all spirals out of control.

    Sometimes what I want is to sleep or have a bath and asking means he can give to me. Most Masters enjoy being served because they understand that for us slaves it allows us to express our love, receiving is just as important as giving, just because the power is one way, does not necessarily follow that the giving/receiving does too.–

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