The Burden of Trust

I was sitting in front of the TV today. It was on. I was not watching it. I’ve been in a contemplative mood today. I’ve had camp on my mind. I’ve had what we plan to do on my mind. Mostly it’s been You. You have been interwoven in my thoughts all day.

I have been thinking about trust. About how, out of necessity, You will be handing me off to Your mate for a time. About how I have to trust You in Your assessment of her. That she is experienced enough to see that I will come to no harm. This made me nervous.

During this thought process, something occurred to me: You are under a tremendous amount of pressure. You said something recently about what would take place if something happened to me while I was under Your care. I took that to heart. I recognize it’s a legitimate concern.

You speak with awe about my level of trust in You. I cannot imagine what it must feel like to quite literally have my life in Your hands. To know that I have placed it there with no doubt that You will take care of me. That I will come to no harm. And We now come to this. This trust by proxy. You have the responsibility for that, too. I see it now. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.

I do not know how You endure the weight of everything I lay it Your feet. The burden of carrying my trust must be heavy indeed. A lesser man would be crushed under the load. Thank you for being who You are.

Today I am grateful for: music
Today’s funny moment:
Training: 1.5 hours
Water: 16 oz
Corset: am 25.5″, pm 24.5″


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