In spite of the fact that I had more quality rest last night than I’ve had in probably a week, here I sit completely fried. I moved all of the pics to a shiny new flash drive for You and wiped the originals from the memory card. None of them are resident on my hard drive, nor will they be.
I am struck that You are having difficulty knowing that I posses these images. I wonder what it is You think I will do with them other than use them for a visual timeline to jog my memory. You have hundreds of photos of me in which I am less than fully clothed and easily identifiable… let’s look at this objectively: because of some of my characteristics I am identifiable in nearly every picture You have of me. The only ones that will not identify me are those in which I am completely covered from head to toe. Out of the hundreds You have, how many does that description fit? My guess would be only a hand full.
Please know that I will never intentionally shame You. Should the day come that You release me, I will simply disappear as if I never existed. The one time I thought You were finished with me, I went about methodically putting my digital footprint on hold until I could find a way to expunge it. I was still doing this when You called me to talk about Our issues. It did not even cross my mind to make psychotic postings about You. I sought only to find a way to silently remove myself from Your path so that You could find the One who would bring You the joy that I could not. I love You now and I will love You always. I will not intentionally harm You. Period.
I do understand that most (if not all) of Your discomfort comes from Your past. Please remember, I am not Your past, I am Your present and Your future. Thank you for trusting me as I have, and do, trust You.
Today I am grateful for: sleep
Today’s funny moment: –
Training: 4 hours
Water: 4 liters
Corset: not worn