I spent relatively few hours with You this weekend compared to Our usual play. How is it then that I feel so differently? About You. About Your mate. About my place with you both. Somehow, also about myself.
My relationship with Your mate feels altered. I no longer feel that I’m walking on egg shells. I feel an affinity with her now. There is an ease when I’m with her that I did not have before. I don’t know where it came from or how or why. It seems as quick as the snap of a finger.
And You … when we did our encasement (what can only be described as a) demo at the party, the connection I felt with You was … unparalleled. We did not really talk today about how You were feeling during Our activity so I don’t know where You were emotionally. More than that, I don’t even know if You had time to feel among all of the comments and chatting from the peanut gallery.
I wonder if You know how safe You made me feel. How special. How cherished. How treasured. The many times You checked in with me, making sure We were on the same page with what You were doing. Making sure I was comfortable. Making sure I was alright emotionally. I am surprised I was not glowing from the light with which You filled me. I still carry it. I still feel it. I am radiant.
I cannot name what has changed within me. Not yet anyway. I only know I feel different. Good different. Better different. Irrevocably different.
Today I am grateful for: water
Today’s funny moment: playing with the dojo mascot kitten
Training: none – in time-out
Water: 6.5 liters
Corset: not worn – hip bruising from looking hot. Planning on resuming Wednesday if fully healed.