I panicked.

You took from this that I don’t fully trust You. Of course I do. I did not believe for one moment that You were actually going to act on Your declaration. You prefaced this portion of Our play with statements outlining that You were going to be very mean to me. That You had waited for this for a long time. That I belong to You.

I did not believe You would cause me lasting harm. I did fully believe that You were about to do something terrifying. At minimum, I thought You might have intense breath play on the menu for the evening. I was frightened. Only this and nothing more.

My trust in You did not and does not waver. I have literally placed my life in Your hands many times. I will undoubtedly do so many more. I will also continue to experience fear  during play with You. It is what We do. Though I do not enjoy the fear, I do enjoy this part of Our dynamic – that You can scare the bejeezus out of me and that my trust in You will not be tarnished, that Our bond will be strengthened as a result, that I know you will not harm me, that I will often giggle about it with You later.

Today I am grateful for: Time with You
Today’s funny moment: Your history channel outrage.
Sad moment: Getting in my car and driving away from You.
Protocol: Following a thread from K&P, I read a brief article on Old Guard. Mentioned as an aside in this piece were bits of protocol. One of the bits was about how the author, a submissive, never went through a door before his Dominant. I have felt awkward about this with You. I have never discussed it because I only remember when the door is being opened and that is not an appropriate time. I would like to talk about Your preferences on this matter.
Water: I did not keep track today because I was with You half the day. I’m guessing between 3/4 of a gallon and a gallon.
Corset: n/a
Hood: n/a


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