Denial

I follow a blog written by a male, who identifies as Thumper, kept in chastity by his wife. Yes, he has a PA piercing and no, there is no getting out of his device. A while back, Thumper posted a video of the device being installed. It’s serious biznezz, as the kids say. The entry that prompted this journal is this one.

In it Thumper talks about his level of hornyness and how this led to asking his wife, Belle, when he would be allowed to come again. Her response was, and I’m paraphrasing, “I won’t say never but it’s not in the foreseeable future.” And, get this, he’s ok with it.

I read that entry and sat with my mouth open for a very long time. With or without a physical device, I am essentially in chastity. I have not had an orgasm since camp three weeks ago and have not touched myself since You had me edge last week. Most of the time I’m not bothered, most of the time. If I steer clear of overt sexual stimuli, I’m so busy I don’t notice.

I have had days, however, that it was all I could do not to flat out beg You. Today was extremely bad. I considered writing to ask for permission. Multiple times I considered calling and begging. I’m seriously feeling it. I’m all for exertion of Ownership. It is incendiary. I can handle it if I have an idea of when the end will be. This? Not so much.

The light at the end of the tunnel (double entendre intended) has been turned off for now and it’s really screwing with my head. I’m gritting my teeth to contain my über-bitchiness because I recognize it should not be taken out on the boys. The lid is going to blow. It’s just a matter of time before someone says that wrong thing at the wrong time and I lose my shit all over them.

It is going to happen. It’s not going to be pretty. I don’t know how Thumper does it and I don’t ever want to find out.

…………………………….
Today I am grateful for: shelter
Today’s funny moment: n/a
Sad moment: getting distracted with leather thoughts and fucking up a piece beyond saving
Protocol: n/a
Water: 4 liters 4 ounces
Corset: 24″ am, 24″ pm
Hood: 1 hour

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