Say what?

I read this post about goals the author set for her relationship. I related to most of what she had to say until I hit number seven:

7. I want to be disciplined. Not because I ‘need’ to, not because I’ve done something wrong, not because I’ve ‘earned a spanking’, but because it’s a good reminder. I don’t want to need a spanking. I don’t want to do anything to earn a spanking. My goal is to not do anything wrong. My goal is to not do anything that causes you to have to do more work, my goal is to do things to help you do less work. I want to be disciplined to remind me that I don’t answer to just me. I want to be disciplined to remind me what it feels like, to make sure I don’t forget what will happen if and when I do something wrong, when I do earn it. Because, as much as I don’t want to, I’m sure that I will.

Excuse me!? This smacks of “maintenance” beatings. Discipline to show who’s boss, not because it’s deserved? I find this to be seriously fucked up. I thought ok, I do everything in my power to avoid punitive action and this chick is seeking it out as a reminder. It doesn’t work for me but meh. It takes all kinds.

I believed her to be an exception. Then I read the comments. So many people singled out this specific item as the thing they loved about her piece. This leads me to believe that perhaps I am the exception. That I am among the few who seek to avoid punishment at all costs. I sure as hell don’t need a reminder of what will happen if I fuck up … as if I could ever forget.

Just when I think I’ve seen enough to say I’m ok with the “Your kink is not my kink” attitude something like this comes around and I feel as though I’m back to square one. “You’ve done nothing wrong and I’m going to punish you anyway.” Seriously! What the fuck!?

Today I am grateful for: patience
Today’s funny moment: “Leonard sleeps while I play bongos.”
Sad moment: n/a
Protocol: n/a
Water: 4 liters + 6oz.
Corset: 24.5″ am, 24″ pm
Hood: 1 hour


6 thoughts on “Say what?

  1. I do think she is talking about maintenance spankings.

    We are all wired different ways obviously. I have a deep inherent need for discipline and punishment. I don’t feel loved without it. I don’t look at it as a kink, although some would.

    I believe in domestic discipline– for me and other consenting adults. I will admit I have struggled most with this concept of DD.
    And like D/s, every DD relationship handles this differently. For me personally, it would never be a beating.
    Neither called, nor delivered as one.

    But I get why you feel the way you do. I used to at one point in my life too.

    • I am all for discipline. It is a necessary part of any power exchange. My point is that discipline is the result of a specific act. If it is “discipline” for maintenance sake then it’s not discipline. That’s what I’m struggling with here.

      • I do as well, and although I want a DD relationship, I have not yet lived it…but I kind of think it will help me stay centered….submissive in mind. From my understanding, maintenance spankings are not severe like punishment…

  2. I understand that some people are into DD, and as long as it works for them (and isn’t abusive) I’m okay with it. However, I will definitely not be one of them. I put up with too much from my father as a teen, to ever want that kind of aspect in my relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I love being spanked ;).

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