Tonight I was looking for journal prompts because my Well of Creativity is dry for the moment. During my search I found two things that were intended to be separate prompts and rode the same train of thought in my mind:
- “If I have to do something out of the ordinary for me, than we are not a match. I am going to be myself for the foreseeable future, so if that does not inspire submission now, it never will.” ~ Flagg
I read this one and thought Uhm … if a submissive only does things that s/he considers to be “ordinary” or comfortable how on earth are they going to experience growth? Not finding that prompt to be worthy of a post, I moved on and found this:
- What depth does someone need to be taken to to grow?
It’s not necessarily about depth. It is about discomfort. They are called growing pains for a reason. Growth is uncomfortable. Doing things outside of one’s comfort zone can be painful. It can be emotionally agonizing. If not properly supported with positive feedback, it can be traumatic. An individual can be left feeling as though they stuck their neck out and are now alone, twisting in the wind. When done with the proper support, growth can be illuminating, inspiring, joy inducing, and/or flat-out magical.
I don’t know what the author of the query prompt meant by “depth”. I do know that being pushed requires a deep level of trust. Not every s-type is capable of this level nor is every D-type worthy of this level. Trust that the individual asking knows the one being asked is able to perform this thing, no matter how difficult it may be physically or emotionally. Trust that if one attempts this thing and fails that support will be there in the aftermath. Trust that the one asking the thing to be done knows the limitations of the one being asked and can push those limitations safely.
I have been pushed. I have been pushed hard. I have been shoved on several occasions when I thought there wasn’t any possible way I could do the thing being asked. I am fortunate that I have You. That You know what I am capable of, even when I don’t – especially when I don’t. You believe that I can when I am certain I cannot. You believe in me enough for both of Us.
Thank you for that. Thank you for pushing/shoving/pressing me into being a better person, for myself and for You. Recently the question was asked if You are worth my time. You are worth far more than I will ever be able to give/show You.
My level of appreciation for You and everything You do for me, my child, my marriage cannot be accurately expressed verbally because the language that would do it justice has not been created. I will work on expressing my gratitude and appreciation eloquently and more often. You need to hear it, however inadequate the words may be.
Today I am grateful for: Tissues
Today’s funny moment: “What does that mean? You made furniture?”
Sad moment: n/a
Water: 4 liters 12 ounces
Corset: 24″ am, 24″ pm