Still Pushing

I keep revisiting the clamps with which You began Our play. I revisit the clamps and something You said after the fact about leaving them on even though they were, as always, extremely painful. I experience them easily as a 6 or 7, albeit highly localized.

I loathe those things. I have been quite vocal about that fact. Experiencing them for as long as I did did not change my mind. If anything, my opinion has been confirmed. I adore that You did what You wanted to do with me in spite of how I reacted. I do not ever want to drive a scene. My reactions are naked honesty. I have not, nor will I ever, “play act” a response in an attempt to top from the bottom.

I dispensed with safe words a long time ago, regardless of the type of play (no limits session, public play, etc.) Pain never killed anyone. I don’t enjoy the pain. I do enjoy the challenge it presents. I trust that You know me, my body, and how I react well enough at this point that I don’t need to say anything.The obvious disclaimer here is that if something odd is going on I of course inform You.

What I’m trying to say, in a round about way, is thank you. Thank you for continuing to push, for never letting me get comfortable, for not allowing Our play to have a predictable routine, for still having the ability to scare the bejeezus out of me. Thank you for being You. Thank you for shoving me further into who I am.

I can’t get enough of playing with You. I don’t ever want to stop.

Today I am grateful for: Robitussin
Today’s funny moment: How do you meet a swan?
Sad moment: Nope. It’s not allergies.
Protocol: n/a
Water: 5 liters
Corset: n/a – sick
Hood: n/a – sick


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