What day is this?

It was an odd day today. For my entire life, literally, every single Christmas, I have traveled. We were always up before the sun. We opened our gifts quickly. None of them were poured over, investigated further, or gushed about because we were On A Schedule. We rushed to shower, get dressed in our Sunday best, ask if we could take the new <insert thing> with us to be told no because it would get left behind, pack the car and get going. We never had anything more than snacks at any house because the schedule wasn’t set up that way. We were in our teens before we understood that people actually had a nice meal on Christmas. For us it was always peanut butter and jelly when we got home, dead tired from a day of riding in the car, broken up by a couple of hours per house, being seen and not heard.

When I got older and had my own family, I decided I was not going to do that to my child. We still visited on Christmas day but we only went to one relative, The other would be visited on Christmas eve. We rotated who got to see us on the actual holiday in an attempt to keep things civil. We left at a reasonable time and always arranged to have a meal.

This year we didn’t visit anyone. Everyone has moved out of traveling distance. For the last month or so we had been gleefully celebrating the fact that we would get to stay home. Today, we got up at a reasonable hour, had a leisurely breakfast, and opened gifts, taking the time to open the boxes of new toys, flip through books, reading passages and generally acting like we had nowhere to go. Because, we didn’t.

We finished opening gifts in pretty short order. There wasn’t much and what there was mostly belonged to LM. When we were done DH and I sat and looked at each other as if to say Well, what now? It was strange and disorienting. We sat and talked for a bit. We watched the cheesy Yule Log program until it went off at 10am. We remarked that we had never been home to see it end.

We made phone calls to all the people we would normally visit. The rest of the day was weird and quiet and when we sat down to eat our turkey I thought So this is what everyone else does. It still feels off somehow. DH kept saying It doesn’t feel like Christmas.

I’m sure I’ll get used to this as the years pass. For now it feels quite a bit like the break between semesters when you keep feeling like you’re forgetting something.

Today I am grateful for: Family
Today’s funny moment: LM being a bottomless pit
Sad moment: Hearing the decline in my brother’s health
Protocol: I wanted to call You today but I felt uncomfortable about intruding on a family holiday.
Water: 4 liters
Corset: 24″am, 25″pm
Hood: n/a


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