/rant on

https://fetlife.com/users/875590/posts/1962387

This is a very nice plug for a play space. Buried in the post is this bit of tripe:

Protocol often involves more than just the D and the s; many subs have rules when it comes to speaking or interacting with those outside of their relationship… I take zero issue with this, in part because I have never seen it forced on bystanders. For the most part, people are understanding if someone doesn’t feel comfortable recognizing the roleplay of others. And it is roleplay, no matter how immersive.

and she goes on to a CYA comment

That doesn’t give it any less validity. It’s what they’re here for. That’s where their happy place is. I can comprehend that in a very powerful and vicarious way.

Excuse me?!?!? Protocol is role play? Uhm … no … just no. I desperately wanted to tell this bit of a girl exactly what I thought of her statements. The unmitigated gall of this girl!

Is how one behaves during church services role play? How about the classroom? At a funeral? No, no, and NO! Of course not and no one would say that it is.

Protocol: a system of rules that explain the correct conduct and procedures to be followed in formal situations. Hmmm let me re-read that …. nope nothing about role playing there. Nothing at all. Why is that? Because it’s not role play!

Man, she seriously pissed me off. The thing is, she made the statement out of blind ignorance. I don’t believe she intended to offend anyone. I have to believe it was ignorance. The ignorance of a very young girl speaking without thought of consequence. Seems to me that she could benefit from some protocol of her own.

/rant off

 

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6 thoughts on “/rant on

  1. As someone in a delightedly full-time control-and-compliance relationship, I agree with your indignation. It’s fine to define this dynamic as simple role play if that’s what you want, but for some of us, this is the heart and basis of our real lives.

  2. ‘Cause I love being the dissenting voice:

    It appears to me—although I could be wrong—that your issue is with the word “role-play.” This word has a Marriam definition: “to act out the role of.” I have many roles: husband, lawyer, citizen, and yes, dominant. When I am acting out of that role, that is role-play. Perhaps some consider the word “play” in “role-play” to have a recreational connotation, like in Dungeons and Dragons (as I show my age). But I submit the more correct version of the word “play” is like to play a recording, or to play out the scenario. So, in church, the congregation plays out the role of congregation when it sits and stands and kneels (for some) and sings. This is role-play.

    So, perhaps the writer did not intend to suggest that you act as a submissive only in some sort of suspended reality or fantasy. Perhaps he or she intended to refer to what one does as a submissive. My wife, SW, who is a 24/7 submissive (a slave by some definitions) does not give deference to others except me. It’s not part of her role-play.

    • Thank you for your well worded argument. I welcome alternate views as food for thought. I have chewed on yours for a bit and here are my thoughts:

      I accept your definition of “roles” and the roles we all play (there’s that word again) in society. I bristled at the original poster’s comment because I felt she intended to say that being submissive is something submissives act out from time to time, as one would a role in a play. Protocol is not a form of stage blocking. It is a demonstration of my level of respect for my Master and my station. It is a well defined structure with rewards and consequences.

      Being submissive, is not something I do. It is who I AM. It is not temporary or intermittent. It is not a six week engagement. It is not something I offer until the house is sold out. It is as integral to body as is the skin which covers me. Like my skin, it cannot be removed and still have me survive.

      • “Being submissive, is not something I do. It is who I AM.” Yeah, I get that. My wife says the same thing (even though she has acted primarily out of a dominant persona until recently). I say the same as a dominant. I would wager the author gets that too. However, I concede that my bet would not be a sure thing.

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