TMI Tuesday: Fill in the Blank

This week’s TMI Tuesday was adapted from Friday Fill-ins.

fill in the blank tmi

Fill in the blanks below with whatever comes to mind first or is sexy or crazy. Have fun!

1. For me, it was a bit surprising, but then, I had grown accustomed to the “anytime, anywhere” school of thought.

2. In the frozen foods? Right here at my local supermarket?

3. Behind the tree seems like a better option. There’s less risk of a public indecency charge that way.

4. It is something I always wanted to do.

5. When it was over, I reflected that, though it was great fun, I was glad we hadn’t been caught. It could have gotten messy. It’s not the sort of thing you want listed in the PTA newsletter.

6. Tonight I’m looking forward to somewhere less anxiety inducing.

Bonus: What is it? Explain how you would use it.
I admit I had no idea what this thing was. I did a google image search. The result got a raised eyebrow and a chuckle.

Why? Just … why? …. And from the reviews I read, even if you’re into that, it’s not worth the time/money. How would I use it? I suppose I could use it as an underpowered flashlight for those times when waking one’s partner is inadvisable.

whatisit_april29

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on the TMI blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses.

The Swimmer and The Lifeguard

It is as if a marathon swimmer narrowly escaped drowning immediately after a near fatal shark attack. The Swimmer, who so once loved the water, can now barely stand a whisper of the idea that she might, perhaps, at some point, get the tip of one toe damp while standing safely on the shore.

The Swimmer always loved the water. Always. Always wanted the buoyancy. The sparkle of the sun on the waves. The communing with sea life. The working of muscles against the resistance of the current. The burning in her lungs as she pushed the limit of her physical endurance. When The Swimmer was not in the water, she thought about being in the water. She longed for it. She pined for it. She counted the days until the next time.

Maybe next time, if everything was perfect, she could spend an entire day swimming instead of just a couple of hours. She imagined how grand it would be to never have to come out of the water. Wouldn’t that be something?, The Swimmer thought, I could live with the fish, as a fish. Never to return to dry land. Surely, if I just try hard enough … maybe with just a bit more training … maybe then …

Then the thing happened. It was so much worse for being beyond The Swimmer’s control – for the lack of causality in spite of repeated examination. Mercifully, most of the memory of it has been banished to The Hall of Lost Memories. The Swimmer is pretty sure this is a good thing. Mostly sure. The Swimmer wants to believe this is for the best. The Swimmer also has a nagging voice that says perhaps the key to getting back in the water lies in The Hall of Lost Memories.

The Swimmer sits, swim suit in hand, toes buried in the sand, watching the water, trying to recall the joy. She sits next to her personal Lifeguard, close enough to feel the Lifeguard’s body heat. This is the very same Lifeguard that pulled The Swimmer from the water that horrible day. Though much is lost to The Swimmer, she remembers clearly, being held in the aftermath, with a gentleness that belies The Lifeguard’s strength and size. How The Lifeguard called for assistance and there were two holding The Swimmer. The Swimmer recalls this living fortress. Feeling completely safe while she recovered.

The Swimmer logically understands that it is statistically unlikely that the shark will be there when she braves the water once again. Logically, she does understand that. Logic does not slow her pounding heart when she smells the water. Logic does not regulate The Swimmer’s breathing when she closes her eyes and tries to imagine being submerged in the place she once loved more than any other.

The Swimmer understands that staying on the shore will not bring back her love of the ocean. The Swimmer pulls out her suit every night, pressing it to her face, inhaling the faint scent of salt that no longer washes out, wanting desperately to have the increased heart rate be due to anticipation instead of terror. Wishing it were so.

The Swimmer knows unshakably that, on her return to the ocean, The Lifeguard will be there. He will keep The Swimmer safe as He always has. The Swimmer knows if The Lifeguard had seen the shark coming it never would have happened. The Swimmer knows there is no way to predict the return of the shark.

The Swimmer knows there is no benefit in going back to swim class at the local Y. The Swimmer knows there will be no time spent in the shallow end of the pool. The Swimmer knows she must jump off the pier. She must close her eyes, hold her nose, and jump feet first.

The Swimmer knows all of this. The Swimmer understands. What The Swimmer does not know, what The Swimmer cannot begin to imagine, is how she will ever find the courage to simply stand on the pier … much less jump off it.

TMI Tuesday: Odds and Ends

This week’s TMI Tuesday is an outlet for the quirky you. It’s titled Odd and Ends because it is the leftover ideas/questions/thoughts that couldn’t fit into a theme but I know it’s TMI you want to share 🙂

Let’s Play…

odds_and_ends_tmi

1. How addicted are you? You are in a rush, there is no time to make your morning coffee or stop to buy it. However, you can save time and get your “energy high” by brushing your teeth with a caffeine-infused toothbrush. Would you buy and use this product? Why or why not?
I have to admit I don’t have strong feelings on either side of the question. I can see myself using this once in a while but not as a daily thing. I’m thinking when I’m heading out for the night and all I really feel like doing is going to bed. That being said I don’t know that I would buy one. Maybe if it were a gift?

2. You made a sex list of all the things you’d like to do but haven’t done. The list was lost and discovered by your boss at work. He/she ask if they can help you tick a few items off the list. What do you say?
Not just no, but Hell No! Never mix business with pleasure.

3. Sex around the house. Have you ever been bent over the kitchen counter or bent a lover over the kitchen counter and fucked? What did you like most about it? What did you like least?
You mean there are people who haven’t? I don’t even know what to do with that information. It’s sex. In the kitchen. What’s not to like? Moderately unsanitary? Sure. Hey the kitchen needs a regular wipe down anyway, amiright?

4. Sexting…How do you really feel about it?
a. Meh? Not my thing.
b. Can take it or leave it, usually have to be begged to do it
c. I like it, it’s like foreplay.
d. Love it! I’m always sending naughty notes and steamy pics.
e. What’s your number? I have a daily sexting list, wanna sign up?
A – Just say no. Digital permanence.

5. What do you love to sniff? Why?
A freshly opened bag of potato chips. If I have to explain it you wouldn’t understand.

Bonus: What is it? Explain how you would use it.

whatisit_april22This is a CBT device. Since I’m not a top and I don’t have the proper appendage to self-implement, I would donate that bad boy to a good cause.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment on their blog. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!