Is not! Is too!

A few days ago I wrote a post taking a look at humiliation and how subjective humiliation can be. My brain can’t let go of this subject. Last night I lay awake categorizing things that either are or are not humiliating for me. At first glance, all was black and white: This act is. This act is not. Sometime later, still laying awake, gray areas emerged. Well this isn’t as long as it’s in private but I don’t want anyone else seeing me do it. or That’s ok with family but I don’t want to do that in front of/with strangers.

Note: It can be assumed when I speak of “public”, I’m speaking of those of like mind, not muggle folk. I don’t believe in intentional play, or related activities, in front of those outside the lifestyle.

As a result of a sleepless night, I offer the following:


  • Any of the following being applied to me: cunt, slut, whore, stupid
  • Referring to my orifices as “holes”
  • Being spit at or on
  • Being publicly disciplined (public in this case means anyone present/in ear shot other than myself and the Top)
  • Any play involving the face (slapping, pinching, etc)
  • Being laughed at for any reason – Admittedly the line of laughed at / laughed with is blurry for me. I often cannot tell the difference.
  • Having my TBI disclosed to anyone for any reason
  • Fumbling/forgetting protocol – Interestingly enough, I find this humiliating even if no one else seems to notice. I usually dwell on it for several days.

Not Humiliating

Most forms of play including but not limited to –

  • Impact play: whipped, flogged, paddled, spanked, etc
  • Sense Dep
  • Sleep Sack
  • Kneeling at His feet
  • Bondage
  • Hoods
  • Collar
  • Leash
  • Encasement

Context Dependent

  • Play in hotel hallways
  • Crawling
  • Nudity
  • Penetration
  • Gags
  • Orgasms
  • Failing
  • Exercise
  • Dancing
  • Running
  • Being treated as on object/property – This is a tough one. It is most often highly desirable and can be, though exceedingly rare, humiliating depending on context. Occasionally, I cannot explain, even after the fact, the why of desire vs. humiliation. I do not fully understand this part of who I am, though it is not for lack of introspection.
  • Water sports
  • Anal play
  • Costumes

I’d be very interested in discussion/comments from readers of where these (or things of your own) fall on the list. Are there acts you do happily for your One, privately, that are less than desirable when among others?



2 thoughts on “Is not! Is too!

  1. The main thing is who you are…I also think some things we seek can also be humiliating, if that makes sense….it is why we look for them. Then again, if humiliating just equals unpleasant on all levels, then it depends utterly on what we ourselves seek. Nice lists.

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