TMI Tuesday: Behave


This week TMI Tuesday takes its cue from the world of psychology and sociology, which both deal with behavior.

1. Catharsis – What behavior or activity do you do to achieve catharsis.
I don’t anymore. When I was young, foot-loose and fancy-free, I went through a period of Retail Therapy. As I got older I realized how incredibly stupid that was. I also went through an extended period of emotional eating. Though I have managed, with help, to stop medicating with food, it remains a herculean monkey on my back and one that I regularly have to put back in its cage.

2. Self-affirmations was made famous by Saturday Night Live character Stuart Smalley (now Senator Al Franken): “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh-darn it, people like me.” What self-affirmation do you say/or should you say to yourself?
I really should come up with one of these. They, whoever “they” are, say that 70 percent of all self-talk is negative. Mine is much closer to 95 percent. It is exceedingly rare that I say anything nice to myself and when I do it is always couched with a qualifier e.g., not “You look cute” but “You look kind of cute today.” We mustn’t issue unadulterated compliments. That’s something we do for other people not ourselves.

3. “I knew it all along.” What did you know all along?
The only thing that is reliable is that people are unreliable.

4. Daydreaming. About whom or what was your last daydream?
Is worrying/obsessing the same thing as daydreaming? Daydreaming is a luxury that fell by the way side when I gained responsibility and multiple people who count on me to keep it all together.

5. We all have fears. What fear (real or improbable) have you taken steps against to protect yourself.
The fears I have all revolve around things that are beyond my control. (Which is why they are scary.)  I can take steps to limit the probability of these fears manifesting. I cannot take steps to assuredly prevent them.

6. Relationship churning–How many on-again off-again relationships have you been in? Why would you say you that you repeat this behavior?
One and only one. Never again. I do not tolerate the waffling some people tend to engage in. I learned this the hard way. If the choice has been made to end a relationship and, that decision has been given voice, then it’s over. I do not take, nor do I issue, idol threats just to see what the reaction will be or as a tactic to open negotiations. If I say I’m done, you can be well and truly sure that I have agonized over the decision, I do not see another path, and I absolutely mean it.

Bonus: Self-monitoring is the ability to both observe (or measure) and evaluate one’s behavior. It is an important component in human behavior that aids one to measure their behavioral outcomes against a set of standards. What sort of self-monitoring do you do on a regular basis?
Any and nearly all of my behaviors are self-monitored every single day. It is one of the many things that keep me awake at night. Was I clear in what I said? Is there any possible way that behavior might have been misinterpreted? What was that odd feeling during that conversation? Did I miss a social cue? I meant no disrespect, might it have been taken that way? Should I have phrased that differently? That thing I said was taken wrong. How can I avoid that in the future? How should I phrase ideas like that differently? Did I do enough to show <dedication, respect, love, etc.>? Am I too hard/easy/gentle/strict with my child? Am I teaching my child all of the things necessary for my child to function without me? and on and on and on ad nauseam


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the TMI blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses.


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