Prompt: What part of your body are the most proud of?
Some twenty-five years ago, I used to be pleased with my body as a whole, then pregnancy, age, and gravity stepped in and, well, you know how that goes. I don’t really have anything left that I’m especially fond of. I do alright when I spend a couple of hours dolling myself up. That’s the best I can say.
Today, I read this brilliant post on fet by @TheFerrett. (For those without fet accounts, find it here, if you’re interested.) He talks about love languages and how acting from a place of your partner’s love language instead of your own can, at first, feel awkward.
I am one who practices empathy on a regular basis – sometimes voluntarily, often not and it seems the involuntary empathy is always from other’s pain. I want everyone to be happy. If happiness isn’t possible, I want the people I love to know I stand by their side.
If my partner needs to explore the world of, oh I don’t know, green grapes, let’s say. I think green grapes are an absurd, ridiculous waste of time, energy, and money, because hey, what did green grapes ever teach me and you’re only going to flush them down the toilet (metaphorically) in a few hours anyway. Being a loving partner, I not only support their eating of green grapes but I seek out new varieties. I send them hyperlinks to Green Grape Enthusiast blogs. I make the attempt to understand the basics.
This is what it is to be an active partner. I do not force my views of green grapes on my partner. This won’t change how they feel about grapes. All it will do is make me look like a selfish clod who has a closed mind. If I tell them how stupid grapes are every time they talk about it, they won’t share that part of themselves with me anymore. My partner won’t stop loving, eating, trying, reading about grapes. They will do it when I’m not around.
This is how walls are built. This is how relationships fail. I guess what I am saying is, I get it. I get what @TheFerrett is talking about: Practice empathy. Be there for your partners, not in the way you want to be or in the way that is comfortable for you. Be there in the way they need you to be.
Prompt: Are other people in your life trying to get healthy/living healthy? How do you handle being around others who do not ascribe to/support your lifestyle?
I don’t have anyone in my life that is working, on a daily basis, to be healthy and stay fit. I know, first hand, how hard it is to make the choice to get fit and stay that way. I can’t find fault with those who don’t do what I do. I have been them.
The most difficult situation I deal with is living with someone who can not or will not choose to do better. With them, it goes in cycles. Get on the scale, be disgusted with the number, change eating habits, lose weight, go back to old eating habits. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I have learned to be okay with that. Nothing I say or do will change that individual’s behavior. Making that person feel bad about their health will only serve to damage our relationship.
The problem happens when I’m feeling bad and they want to reinforce old patterns of behavior by bringing home foods I no longer eat. I understand the intention is to make me happy. For me, this is the equivalent of handing an addict a buffet of pills. Not helpful. At all.
Ideally, they would offer emotional support or diversionary activities. That doesn’t happen. Instead I have to maintain iron will power at my weakest.
Prompt: What keeps you motivated? Where do you find positive influences?
This was answered here. I am predominantly motivated by the number on the scale.
I have a secondary motivation that comes from the concept of personal wellness. This includes keeping an eye on my muscle tone. I don’t want to be a muscle bound is-that-a-chick-’cause-I-can’t-really-tell-through-all-that-muscle kind of girl but I do want nicely toned arms and shoulders.
I’d also like to tone my tush into something other than the slab ‘o flesh that it has become, given the effects of age and gravity. This has proven challenging because of bad knees that prevent the tushy toning squat.