TMI Tuesday: Relationship assessment


1. When sizing up (assessing) your romantic relationship(s), is there a couple that you envy? Why? (Can be a couple you know or famous/celebrity couple)
I envy people who can be who they are when out in the world. Being one who lives an “alternative lifestyle” means hiding who I am a good portion of the time. It’s tiring.

2. Thinking of your current relationship(s), which stage are you in?
a. Infatuation stage – Intense attraction and an uncontrollable urge to be with each other, strong sexual attraction.
b. Understanding stage – You both start getting to know each other better, and everything about your partner interests and fascinates you.
c. Molding stage – You each know what you want in a partner and you start molding each other to change in effort to create a stranger, lasting relationship.
d. If you have made it this far you are in the advanced stages of a relationship, which one best represents the current status of your relationship:
1) Stage of doubt – This is not what you want in a partner, and you have thoughts of ending the relationship.
2) Happy stage – You’ve worked out most of the kinks in your relationship, you know each others flaws and can deal with them. You are comfortable and enjoying the relationship in what you believe will be a long-lasting one.

I’m in the “Happy stage” in my relationships. (Is the molding stage really a thing? News flash: Partners are not home improvement projects. Accept/love them for who they are or move along. It is unrealistic/unfair to expect anyone to morph into the partner you want vs. the partner they are. You can try and I’m here to tell you it will only lead to resentment and, most likely, the end of the relationship.)

3. If you are not currently in a romantic relationship, at which stage did your last relationship end? (see stages above).

4. Do you think you are too good for your current partner(s)? Why do you feel this way?
I believe I am good for them. My primary objective is to be supportive and loving. I put a fair amount of effort into allowing them to be who they are (unless a behavior is unhealthy). Is it maddening that he can’t make it the final three inches between where he drops his socks and the clothes hamper? Sure and I married him knowing who he was. I’m not going to bitch about it or ask him to change now. I believe I often provide what they need emotionally, while avoiding the pointless bickering that comes from not fully accepting who your partner is.

5. Write a 25-word love note to your current significant other or to a person with whom you are infatuated .
You are my beloved life-mate. Thank you for being what I needed at the perfect time. I refuse to imagine my life without you.

Bonus: Have you ever been obsessively “in love” with someone and perhaps borderline clingy? How did you get over your obsession?
How did I get over my obsession? I am still obsessively in love with him. I expect I always will be. I don’t want to get over it. I want that when-I’m-not-with-you-I-feel-like-I’m-missing-a-limb feeling when we are sitting in our wheelchairs at the old folks home, watching the swans swim by at sunset. This is forever love not you’ll-do-because-I-don’t-want-to-be-alone love.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the TMI blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!