17) What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?
Trust. A tiny word with mammoth meaning and impact.
In the context of my submission, I must trust my Master implicitly. When We play, I am trusting that He will know how much is enough. I trust that He has Our best interests in His heart. I trust that when He is pushing far beyond what We have ever done, that He knows what I am capable of, what We are capable of together. I trust that He will care for me mentally and physically – before, during and after.
In some forms of Our play I am, quite literally, completely incapacitated for multiple hours. My life is in His hands until He gives it back to me. It is impossible to explain the depth of emotion – the strength of bond – that comes with this level of play. While I belong to Him always, in these particular play sessions, I am His utterly, to do with as He pleases. My trust in Him is perfect. I know with certainty that no harm will come to me. He will not allow it.
Additionally, I recognize that He has bestowed His trust on me. He has to trust that I will follow through with all of my training. That I will maintain my written journal and all other tasks. That as His property, I represent Him, conducting myself as if He were standing beside me always. That before and during play I will communicate in all of the ways We have established – even if that means scrapping an entire play session, even if the play was to be a multi-day session. The trust He has in me is equally as important as my trust in Him.
Outside of play I seek His council. I trust His wisdom. Acting on His advice has changed several aspects of my life for the better and will doubtless continue to do so. My life is enriched for being His.
Today I am grateful for: patience
Today’s funny moment: n/a
Sad moment: LM’s shenanigans
Protocol: I had no idea there were several levels of protocol associated with the military and the national anthem.
Water: 4 liters
Corset: 24″ am, 23.5″ pm
Hood: 3 hours