Fitness Journal: Day 30

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Prompt: New weight/measurements! How do you feel? Are you going to continue to get healthier? What are you plans for next month?

Well, my weight is right back where it was some 30 days ago, thanks to the holidays. I did not gorge or eat a bunch of foods I should not have been eating (except for Christmas breakfast). Because everyone was home for two weeks, I ate more frequently and larger meals than I would have if home alone.

While I’m disappointed, I’m not crushed. I made the choice to begin this, prior to the holiday season, knowing it could backfire. Yes, I gained back a couple of pounds (and that really is all we’re talking about here) but I also got back into the habit of exercising every day. I missed only two days the entire time, and one of them was Christmas day, so there is that.

I will continue to do my thing, in the way I’m doing it. It’s proven to work, when I stick with it. Additionally, I’m physically well enough to resume waist training. I have my new trainer in hand and have begun seasoning it.

My final goal is 20″, which for me will be a 7″ reduction. I know this is attainable. When I had to stop for medical reasons, unrelated to training, I was already 22″. Now, I’m … well … let’s just say I’m not at 22″ anymore. I have to gain back that ground and gain those two additional inches. I know that once I’m at 22″, it’s going to take a very long time to get the last two. I’m okay with that, as long as I do get them eventually.

Fitness Journal: Day 29

Prompt: What is your definition of beauty?

(For ease of posting, I’ll stick with beautiful people, as opposed to beauty in nature or the world in general. I think that’s what’s meant by the prompt.)

My definition of beauty has nothing to do with physicality. A person who is morbidly obese, and hideous according to societal standards, can be beautiful beyond measure, based on actions. Someone whose appearance  is flat-out stunning to society, can be revoltingly ugly.

I had a conversation with a couple recently. They’ve had a very difficult year. Their daughter was extremely ill with the kind of thing not easily diagnosed. Though she is home now, the illness will require management for the rest of her life.

A couple of months ago, we happened to be in the same building. Though I don’t know them well, I wanted to check in with them. Make sure they were okay. We sat and talked casually, for an hour or so. A week later, the female half of the couple tells me she has been wanting to send me a thank you note for reaching out. She tells me I’m a beautiful person. This remains one of the best compliments I’ve ever received.

I wanted to ask what on earth I said/did that prompted her comment. I really would like to know. I sit and had a conversation. I did less talking than listening. I gave them an hour of my time. That’s it. Nothing special.

I went through what I could remember of the conversation with a fine-toothed comb, trying to figure it out. Granted, my memory sucks, but I uncovered nothing of note. I did not offer sage words of advice. I just listened. Is kindness really that rare, that remarkable?

I define beauty on conduct and conduct alone. Does a person practice kindness? Do they reach out to others with support or gratitude or empathy? Do they seek to embrace new knowledge and points of view? Are they open and honest, without using honesty as an excuse to be hurtful? (God, that dress is hideous? … What? I’m just being honest!) Do they live with an open mind? Do they refrain from gossip? Do they love freely and with abandon?

These are the things that make someone beautiful. It is what’s on the inside that creates beauty.

Fitness Journal: Day 28

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Prompt: What part of your body are the most proud of?

Some twenty-five years ago, I used to be pleased with my body as a whole, then pregnancy, age, and gravity stepped in and, well, you know how that goes. I don’t really have anything left that I’m especially fond of. I do alright when I spend a couple of hours dolling myself up. That’s the best I can say.

 

Fitness Journal: Day 27

Prompt: Are other people in your life trying to get healthy/living healthy? How do you handle being around others who do not ascribe to/support your lifestyle?

I don’t have anyone in my life that is working, on a daily basis, to be healthy and stay fit. I know, first hand, how hard it is to make the choice to get fit and stay that way. I can’t find fault with those who don’t do what I do. I have been them.

The most difficult situation I deal with is living with someone who can not or will not choose to do better. With them, it goes in cycles. Get on the scale, be disgusted with the number, change eating habits, lose weight, go back to old eating habits. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I have learned to be okay with that. Nothing I say or do will change that individual’s behavior. Making that person feel bad about their health will only serve to damage our relationship.

The problem happens when I’m feeling bad and they want to reinforce old patterns of behavior by bringing home foods I no longer eat. I understand the intention is to make me happy. For me, this is the equivalent of handing an addict a buffet of pills. Not helpful. At all.

Ideally, they would offer emotional support or diversionary activities. That doesn’t happen. Instead I have to maintain iron will power at my weakest.