Prompt: 10 things that really stress me out are…
- Being among many people – even if I have met the majority of them prior to the occasion – even if all those I know are perfectly nice people
- Rush hour traffic – the accident that caused my TBI was during morning rush hour.
- Being a front seat passenger – stress in this situation is amplified if I don’t know the driver extremely well
- Entertaining in my home – I strongly dislike anyone outside my immediate family unit in my personal space. When social obligations require others to be in my home it can stress me to the breaking point.
- Being in environments that cause my routine to be disrupted – I am a creature of habit, nearly to the point of ritual. This is born of memory issues. If I do it (whatever “it” is) the same way every single time it is far less likely anything will be forgotten.
- Not getting adequate sleep – This is two-fold: My already poor memory becomes significantly worse if I am not rested AND my thinking becomes fuzzy. I do not remember instructions that include multiple steps (usually more than two). I will often forget what I’m doing, even if it’s obvious. I have had the experience of holding my toothbrush in my hand and not remembering what to do with it. Disconcerting to say the least.
- Grocery shopping – Too many people and the probability of forgetting things. Yes, even if they are on the list. Yes, even when I check the list. No, I don’t understand how it happens.
- Any situation in which I will be judged for any reason.
- Attending social functions alone – by necessity I have learned to cope with this and have improved a bit in the last year or so. I am still stressed as much as before. I’ve learned to hide it and function from a slightly less angsty place.
- Being watched – In any situation other than a well rehearsed performance, I find this extremely difficult to tolerate. Any one, any where, any time. I’m not even comfortable watching myself. I spend as little time in front of the mirror as possible. The only exception to this is in the dressing room when the entire cast is shoulder-to-shoulder in front of the mirror. Somehow that makes it acceptable.
Today I am grateful for: Living with two males who are smart enough to feel the “Leave me the fuck alone” vibe and who are also smart enough to do it.
Today’s funny moment: n/a
Sad moment: going over December’s schedule
Water: 4 liters
Corset:24″ am, 23″pm
Hood: I worked with the newest hood on the overnight. This hood does not cause ear pain with ear buds (for white noise) as with the kissing hood. I woke after two hours and decided to see how well seated the ear buds were and what it would take to dislodge them. They were seated relatively well however, I do not believe they will stay in place during play. Several stout tugs on the wire had them out the base of the hood which was snugly laced and tied.